So, things have been a bit busy.
Seems we're moving.
Moving would indicate the vacating of one premises, and the subsequent inhabiting of another.
And we are, by god, trying to do both of those things. I think it would be easier to just do one or the other, but there would be obvious gaps, so... people tend to do them, side by side.
It's been 15 years since we've done this.
After 12+ years of moving every 9-16 months, of living in 11 different towns in three states, with well over a dozen different addresses mixed in there, we've stayed in one place for 15 years.
And now, we're off again.
And while I'm sure we'll be very happy wherever we end up, eventually, the process is not really all that pleasant, and If I ever actually sleep until my alarm goes off, ever again, I'll celebrate it.
We get nervous if we don't have enough people looking at our house, and we get crabby because someone wants to look at an inconvenient time.
How clean is clean enough when you're running late to get out the door in the morning?
Not that we could let anyone come in during the day anyhow, because of the 80lbs of people loving poochie that we've got taking up space in the spare bedroom.....
By far the bigger issue right now is finding a place at destination. And we think we may have done so, depending on outcome of negotiations, pest inpection and well and septic inspection. So yeah, only those things....
Which, if everything works out, is a HUGE relief, because honestly, everything else we've seen has been a home and garden freak show.
Drove past the very first house we were to look at last week, and went to turn around in a driveway just past it. Only to see several signs advising that we may just be shot if we were to pull into the driveway to turn around. "If you can read this sign, you're in range!" was my personal favorite.
"No sweetie, you can't have a play date next door at the Gunnutstafon's. Maybe little Ellie could come over here, but she's got to take her shoes and side arm off at the door. And when was the last time you saw our dog? Do you hear banjo music?"
The photos on THAT house didn't show that you would constantly be wobbling about on uneven floors, to the extent that you feared you were suffering from vertigo.
Next....
The lovely pictures of the next house we visited, didn't show that your 2nd floor master bedroom's sliding door gave you access to... nothing. the deck was long gone. Watch that first step...
Next...
And some of the listings were thankfully so ridiculous, that we did not actually bother to visit those homes.
At the time, we shook our heads, but in reality, we're grateful for the ridiculous photos, as they saved us some time.
I think the best, by far, was the listing with a photo of the "partially finished" basement. It had a futon, an air mattress with unmade bedding on top, and... a huge confederate flag with Hank Williams Jr's face in the middle of it, hanging from the wall. It was, indeed, the focal point of the photo.
A distant second was listing with a the picture of the main bathroom, complete with 64 oz. truck stop coffee go mug sitting on the back of the toilet. Perhaps it was full, and too heavy for the photographer to carry away before snapping the picture.
Seriously - what the hell were these folks thinking? This is your homes' best foot forward? Confederate flags and 1/2 gallon go-mugs on the toilet?
At least the house with pictures of wiring dangling loose by half-peeled wall paper was honest about it being a diamond in the rough. A very small diamond... in a very big rough....
I had a buddy in college, who was fond of dropping trou and mooning the camera, whenever someone decided to take pics. We saw far more pics of Lee's butt than we did of his face. I kept wanting to photo shop one of those old photos into some of the ones from the various listings. I figured, what did they have to lose?
So, we're hopeful we're done with one or both ends of things very soon. Perhaps we'll be able to sleep again.
Next few posts will likely be more about the big adventure. Hope you enjoy them.
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