You can pick your friends, and you can pick your proteins, but you shouldn't pick your friend's protein..... something like that.... whatever.

 

Sun's not up yet, kid's not sleeping in the next room, coffee's 2.75 hours old.

Let's drive it like it's someone else's rental.

Thought I'd mix it up a bit.   how'd I do?   

True story about the coffee,  tho'.   

Wedding's in a week, and we may or may not still be getting a kilt in the mail in time.  Besides that.... sound as a pound.   

Honestly - once you pick the spouse, everything else is gravy.

or should I say:  Everything else is the cooked fat and 'juice' from an animal, mixed with flour and starch?

"what the hell?"   you ask.     

read on.   duh.

We were at sup last night (no, this is not a trick to get you to ask "what's sup?"), when our very polite, slightly nervous waitperson asked my fiance to "pick your protein".

Damn.  I'm drooling now, just thinking about it.

hmmm.... I think i'll go with the dead pig today, steeped in the by product of burning wood, I think.   and Could I get a side of starch fried in fat, please?   Maybe some fiber with a little spiced vegetable based condiment on it?    What's that?  oh, yes.  Definitely cover it in dairy-based melted goodness.

Thank God it wasn't breakfast.   Don't even want to try to make up the conversation involving eggs.

Words are amazing things.  

Used with a modicum of effort, they can paint any kind of picture the user, the artist, wishes.   Make a couple good word choices and.... viola. 

Don't bother at all and....   that's what's brought us together, today.

And context.   Fuck.  Context is HUGE.

In this case, we were at a restaurant that already had one strike from a previous visit. 

And last night's "We've a new menu!"  turned out to be simply less of the old menu. 

 

"Well, maybe the waitstaff can recommend something......"

yep.   He recommended we "pick a protein".     Way to sell it, dude.

Was Soylent Green, a protein source?

"It's...PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!"

You'll be shocked to know that, when approaching food from that angle, you ended up getting a plate of food that tastes like what you'd get when you "pick a protein".

Could we get a vegetable-based recyclable containing unit please?  maybe my domesticated Canine Lupus Familiaris would like to ingest this.....