lindsey graham. cracker. whatever.

Yeah, so about 8.5 years ago, I had lunch with Lindsey Graham.

What a great first line. It just pulls you the fuck IN.

My gig at the time was all about the northern border. There were northern border trade conferences twice annually, In DC and Ottawa. (possibly the most beautiful city in North America)

Lindsay was our lunchtime entertainment, in DC, mere weeks after I started the gig. It was sponsored by TransCanada.   Lindsey was snake-oil oil salesman that day, in the charming, vaguely condescending southern way he used to have... You just wanted to sit close so you could hand him a fresh napkin every couple minutes when he soaks the previous one in drool.

It could have gotten way darker, way faster.   You're welcome.

He was positively gleeful about... Chavez(I think) in Brazil's recent announcement that he had terminal cancer…. OIL!!!!!! precious glorious Oil.... napkin, please.

tar sands...pipeline....dammit. napkin!!!

You're welcome, again.    Goddam, you've already got your money's worth.

Anyhow, he wasn't really on my political radar before then.  But since I met the guy, and watched him in action, I started paying attention, and have continued to do so.

I liked him, when he was voice or reason Robin to McCain's VOR Batman.  how could you not like an occasional voice of reason on the right, when such things were becoming damn scarce?

 

But then batman got sick, and eventually died, reclaiming some maverick kharma points, on his way out.

And Robin, without a benefactor, and without an alpha male to be brave with, didn't know what to do.

Solo, he was kinda on the small side, and not used to playing the lead role...

Alright, midstream, without warning, I'm gonna switch to a different metaphor or analogy or comic book parable or whatever I was on about, above.

Ready?

 

                    It is hard to be brave, when you're only a Very Small Animal. - AA Milne

Need a sec? The rest of us will wait for you.  

We're all cool AF.

 

I think it was in a Dale Carnegie class, where I learned that all the 100 acre wood cast, could be found in a professional setting.   I dissented on their notion, however, that Eeyore was a bad guy. if you've ever read the original stories... he's just so awesome...

Mr. Graham, is... Piglet.   And it was easier for him to be brave, when he had pooh. And when he no longer had pooh, and being that he was very small, he cast about, and found... tigger's psycho uncle.

I dunno.  sometime analogies are hard and stuff.

But i'm pissed.  Not like, hop up and down and make a ruckus- pissed, but more "this fucking guy needs a napkin" pissed.  he's drooling again.   if you're lucky.

See, the seemingly endless depths of hypocrisy undertook boldly and right in your face by some southern elected officials is... mind boggling. Smile for the camera.

I thought, for a few years there, that he was better than that. 

Turns out... It is hard to be brave, when you're only a Very Small Animal. 

a weak, small animal.