Anti-social media

 

Woke up to snow on the ground, and an ill spouse.   

Can't say as I was expecting either one of those.

So I sip a cup of coffee, quietly clean up a bit, and try not to question my lot in life, all the decisions made that brought me to this exact point.

The spouse is back in bed, and the snow appears to be melting.     Wonder what's gonna happen next?

Read this week that Trump's Truth Social is officially and thoroughly a flop.  Noone uses it.

People go on, see the lack of activity and post stuff like "Anyone here?"   Didn't help that the man himself never uses it, either.    Built his own platform, after getting kicked off all the ones that have rules, and that people actually use..........

And it got me to thinkin'.........

If noone uses your social media platform, is it still social?    How social is, say, an Ice Cream Social, if you couldn't get in at first, then when you finally could, you find noone there, and no ice cream?  Do you even bother turning the lights on?

What we have here, is anti-social media.    

Let's develop a platform for malcontents, to never use.    

Once we develop it, we'll do a big advertising spend to bring them in.   maybe ads on AOL and Myspace?    

Is pre-ghost Ebenezer Scrooge available?  we need a "face" for the campaign.

I follow my neighborhood's FB page.     It's a frequently head-scratching combination of folks still fighting to keep a speed limit from going up, that's already gone up; folks bitching about animal waste, and people running stop signs and has your trash been picked up /street plowed / power out?  

with the occasional request for information that OP could have gotten by googling.  

 

Maybe there's something to my anti-social media idea, after all.....

His brain flits around like an amped up Monarch butterfly in a field of wild flowers....

 

Kid's asleep, coffee cup is full..... might as well.  

I mean.... I'm up.

Was so nice, opening the house up a little yesterday.

Turned off furnace, was gonna be a nice night to sleep....

Been since... maybe forever, that our idiot rescue dog was in bed with us with windows open, when the thunder started...

I mean, it was one thing for the murder kitty to go nose to nose with me, and then step over my head because a window was open and she wanted to lie in it.

at least that was funny and, more importantly, during the GODDAMN DAY.

But since my wife's at work, and the teenager's going home in a bit...    

perfect day to "grumble 'round my little parlour....."(Music reference for any who might get it)

the girl she makes me pulverized, I feel so very strange...

sorry.  where was I?

oh.  Sleepy and crabby.    Yeah, that's engrossing reading right there.  

moving on.

Russia has "GONE TO WAR" with Ukraine.

Like when I was in 3rd grade, and the 8th grade bus stop bully "went to war" with me.  only... an uncountably high % worse, what with death and destruction and all....

i remember laying there in the wet grass, crying, my head throbbing from where i was punched, from behind if I remember correctly.   (he was somewhere behind me in line)

I remember thinking "If only i wasn't a liberal snowflake, worried all about cancel culture and feelings, I'd understand the big picture" of how I came to be lying there.

pretty damn advanced for a nine year old in 1976, if I do say so myself.

Was a daughter weekend, this weekend.      

tympany!!!!!!!!

.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

'twas light.   

only ... 6 round trips in 36 hours.   

of course, to finish off the weekend with those kind of numbers, you KNOW I just didn't bother to bring her home, at least once.   

damn.   hang on....

nope.  she's asleep in her room.   Guess we ended strong, at least.   

would be lots of yelling and finger pointing, I expect, if I showed up to sunday morning rendezvous with no child in the car.     

shit.  I knew I was forgetting something.   

My bad.   

But if she turns up, here's her stuff.

Had Emergency dental surgery... five days ago.  70+ minutes in the chair, while they sawed and hammered and chipped away.  no gas.  no local.  Just numbing the destruction zone.

worked the morning before I left for it, checked emails from bed all afternoon, and was at my home office desk before 7a the next morning,      Put in six hours last sunday at the office, while in fuckton of pain because of... need for emergency dental surgery.

went home from work early on monday, day before the surgery, cus... i hurt so bad I couldn't focus.    First time calling off sick in years.   Cus.. been working from home.....

My boss texts me from his vacation.    Wanted to know if I needed to use any vaykay time  to make up lost time due to EMERGENCY SURGERY.

I'm salaried.     And because of pandemic and working from home, I've not called off sick in literally years.      

Also, I have little patience for this sort of thing.   Thankfully, it was never an issue, until a recent change in management.

After good naturedly asking him if I need photographic proof of the surgery or not, and him assuring me it was not necessary.....

"Well, take whatever you feel is correct, for a salaried person when they miss time for EMERGENCY surgery.     Let me know what you decide.    Oh, but make sure to account for the 6 hours I gave you on sunday, please, and enjoy your vacation!"

great

googly

moogly.

winter farmer's market, and if the poo shitz.....

 Good morning, sports fans.  

Coffee is good, the air is cold, and I've got nothing but time.  

(untrue.  I've other stuff, as well)

Let's, shall we?

It's 7:15 am, the dog has moved to her day location, and is resting from the journey.

Murder-kitty is in ambush position#3, just inside my bedroom door.

I'd say the morning's coming along nicely.

Later (I have to spread the fun out, so I don't explode), I'll swing by my elementary school gym, this year's location of the city's winter farmer's market.      

know what's really NOT the focus of winter farmer's market?   

farmers.

produce.    

Nary a farmer to be seen.   But the bakeries and coffee roasters and fresh meat and cheese people will be there.    probably buy a knit hat if I wanted.....

and there's always honey.     

Cuz it's a farmer's market law, I believe.  

without it, you can't include the word "farmer" in the title.  

I don't know that this is true, but people are talking...

Summer market, you plan your saturday morning 'round it.   hell, that's just to find parking...

Winter....  "I'm double parked, even though the lot's basically empty.  we can be in and out in 5.  shall we leave it running?"

looks around at the neighborhood where he went to elementary school.

"nope.  we shouldn't.   Lock it up...."

Hmmm.... Not bad, for sitting down in front of my laptop without a plan. 

probably gonna blow it, next up.

Quick.  words that don't belong together.   And... go.

Designer + dog.

interesting choice.   I was gonna go with "Stafford" and "Super Bowl", but we'll use yours.

"I want a dog, but I don't want any dog that ALREADY EXISTS ON THIS PLANET.  INVENT NEW ONES!  GET BUSY!!!!"    (followed by petulant foot stomping)

great look, folks.    Great look.  

I've a couple of draft essays in the can.   I couldn't finish them.  

lost steam, topics I thought would carry me thru didn't.. 

whatever.     

Above swerve to designer dogs is an attempt to use some of what's in the can.  A kernel of an idea not strong enough to blossom into any kind of serious word count....

it's a result of getting hit by a # of references to how we MUST always have bigger and newer and shinier, even though....  we really don't have to.  

(do these shoes match my dog?   Will I need a different dog for after Labor day?)

And to a lesser extent, the divide and disconnect between us as a people.

The "close puppy mills" / "adopt /rescue" crowd, vs. the "If you cross a shitzu and a pekinese and a miniature poodle, will it make a decent fashion accessory?" crowd.

most of us are in the middle, there, somewhere, or not part of the equation at all.    

Like with most divides and disconnects between us as a people....

 

 

  

Curbside Christmas / Excessive Idleness / birthdays on the fly. I hope you like it, at least.

 

Good morning, and happy new year.

It's a brand new year, I've most of a cup of microwaved coffee and a couple of not-quite-stale christmas cookies. 

let's get weird.       

In signing in to write this, this morning, I discovered that someone celebrated the winter solstice, by reading... my blog.  Like... a whole lot of it.

Every so often, this happens.  I sign in after not writing anything for a bit, and... there are 75 hits on one random day; I can see exactly which posts were read, how many times, etc. 

Each time, I wonder who it was, and what compelled them to keep reading, and each time... I never know the answer, obvs.

Hope they liked it, at least. 

It's a brand new year, and I've a herd of deer walking down my unplowed street, and a flock of cardinals duking it out at my bird feeders, which have seen NO action, for the last week.

hope they like it, at least.

Today was supposed to be my family's annual christmas gathering.    Seemed like, as we got closer this year, the dithering and dire weather predictions and such started a bit earlier than normal.

Almost like something, something huge, has caused the non-delusional among us, to exercise more caution than we used to do.

maybe.   

The winter weather threat that cancelled this year... a bit of a popcorn fart.  Lots of build up... and then all fizzle and no sizzle.   

the three or so inches of snow on the ground are pretty, if not particularly unsafe.   it's not quite a picture postcard, but....

Hope everyone likes it, at least.

Anyhow, due to predicted weather, and what ended up being a need for some to quarantine.....family christmas was 15 minutes long, two days ago.  

My sis dropped stuff off and picked stuff up, and later in the day, I stopped by my mom's for 60 seconds to pick up the stuff that was left, there, by others.

And when I called her first to make sure it was ok to come by, I was told "As long as you're NOT planning to stay and talk."      alrighty, then.

Not very festive, but everyone should end up with the correct presents, eventually..

Hope they like them, at least.

Today is last day of my paid christmas break.    I mean, of course I signed in and had to do a bit of work most days, compared to 90% of other salaried folk, cuz... ships and trains don't stop, just because you're on shut down....

But it was nice, and I've never lost sight of the fact that it's a sweet gift I get from my employer, every year.

Even if I did virtually nothing outside of chores and moving some stuff from the country house, all week.     

"Idle" is not my thing.   But "I don't know what to do with myself" IS my thing.

You can imagine how well this has gone at times, lo' these 54 years.

If nothing else, it means that when my wife tells me to "not worry about the house" because she'll take care of it when she gets home from work......   I will OF COURSE worry about the damn house.

At least a little.

Birthday was on the fly this year, which is fine. 

Nice card and fresh coffee waiting for me when I woke up, presents from family already opened due to the 15-minute family christmas; a couple presents to unwrap at some spur of moment time later in day when my wife got home; celebratory texts and calls at random moments throughout the morning.....   good enough.   

In part because it de-emphasized the fact that it was my birthday.   

I realized, awhile ago, I don't actually like birthdays.  Mine.  

Other people's are fine, and I hope they like them, at least. 

I don't care that I'm getting older; I stopped worrying that I wasn't "far enough along" in my life, decades ago; and I'm not of a weird religion (redundant?) that doesn't acknowledge them.

It's just that once I stopped expecting the actual to somehow meet my expectations, when I couldn't even clearly state my expectations.... life got easier 

Growing up, it was always shoe-horned in around Work and travel schedules.  So be it, it was all I knew, so....  And There were years when I'd hear about how tight money was for christmas, knowing of course my birthday was five days after.....     

I am not bitching, as a middle-aged-grown-ass-man.  One has no business bitching, really, after you've decades to sort it out for yourself.   

At whom does one bitch, at this point?     

(Man stands in yard, shaking fist at clouds.   Not a good look.)

I know the best that could be done, was done, and I appreciate it for what it was. 

But now, NOT trying to force it to be more: NOT being told " don't wash that dish, it's your birthday!" for example, while my birthday's absolutely NOT an all-day thing in any other way....   NICE.

   

And a casual dinner / beers with friends to end it..,. was perfect.  

 I hope I liked it, at least.

I checked just now, and... I did.

 

 

   

Tasty bathroom water and old habits. You know you're already intrigued.

 

Alright. 

So - a few weeks back, we put a water bowl in the bedroom.

Why?

So the damn dog wouldn't whine to go out at 3a, only to run to the bathroom, drink from the toilet, belch contentedly, and run back into the bedroom and onto the bed.

hypothetically speaking, of course.

Anyhow, the small bowl of water in the bedroom is now the preferred source of hydration for both the idiot dog, and the psycho kitty.   

I guess the water that comes out of the bathroom tap is just tastier than what comes from the kitchen.

today, twice now, she's gone to town on her food, stopping to walk across the house to get water.

Why, yes.  Yes there IS a full bowl of water right next to her food bowl.

it's been full for a long time now....

At least she only thinks I'm going to abuse her, about 19% of the time, now.     almost four months in, I'm guessing this is where it will stay.

Until unless I start abusing her...

The psycho kitty?  she'll sit in front of it for extended periods, just to remind the dog who's boss.

Tonite, just a few moments ago, I saw my chance.

My kid was in the shower, and the dog was outside.... 

I filled the bowl with kitchen water.

 " Today we're at world famous blah blah blah in New Orleans, and we've switched   their normal coffee with folgers instant crystals.   let's see what happens, with hidden camera...."

I didn't know it, as a child when this ad ran.   But as an adult, I can, with confidence, call bullshit.   Unless, perhaps, this world famous eatery in New Orleans, served shitty coffee to begin with.   

Like... one of those terrible coffee vending machines in the kitchen, with a pile of quarters, only instead of quarters, it takes tiny pieces of the souls of those who ingest it.......

- level shitty.  

Fuck.  Dog just barked, and the water bowl sailed over the gate into the hallway.

Oh, c'mon.  Dog's a moron, remember?   A sweet, reasonably well behaved one, but.... 

So, there's a story.  happened a few weeks ago, whilst fall was still beautifully fall-y.

It's about growing up, realizing your perspective has changed, and a weird dude by the side of the road.

wanna?

The woman I married, lived on the street a couple back from my own.

but 12 miles further west.    We call it the country estate.   And then laugh.

I was blessed with this drive, especially in spring and fall. you hit the county line and it's nothing but dirt roads and trees.   

In the winter... you use the highway a mile further south. I mean, no reason to be an idiot....

I was contemplating this on a particularly fall-y evening drive back to the city place,  and how right it felt that this splendor would be our guide, on endless trips back and forth, when I saw him.

Dude, standing behind his pick up truck, on the opposite side of the road.  

Road's narrow and... barely a road in places, so you go slow...

He was getting out his... guitar.    And as I drove on, I saw him the rear view, strumming and singing to... the creek that was there, perhaps.   or maybe just accompanying it's music.

"Wanke..." I started.    But I stopped.

See, old stuff, old...ways, can still come on automatically.  

Always without thought. 

duh. 

"automatic".  

.My younger, angrier, unhappier self, would have found it necessary to judge the  wanker guy.  And I would have had help, or at least a cheering section, more oft than not.

Old habits.   Of no value.   

There I was, dodging potholes, realizing he was not, indeed, a wanker.   

(as far as I knew, at least)

He was just a guy who fed his soul

sitting on his tailgate and playing the guitar

next to a stream.

as the sun slowly set.    

Who unknowingly reminded me that I'm no longer young, angry, nor unhappy like I was, in my youth, and wasn't it all exhausting, for no good reason?

And am no one to judge another's eccentricities.

So there you go.  

Now off you pop to bed.

Weddings, bad behaviour, and what happens when the universe gets involved.

 

sunday morning.
coffee...various animals.... the Mrs..... 

Let's.   Shall we?

Pretty sure I wasn't married, the last time I wrote here.     So that's kind of a thing.

Easy button made permanent.   how cool is that?

As we sit, companionably, in our VERY crowded little house (was supposed to be a MUCH bigger house, but... things happen.).

Dog's asleep next to me.   Cat was laying on the back of couch until a moment ago, right next to my head.      

WAS.  

until my mere presence was enough to make her lash out, without warning.

Felt vaguely familiar, like moments from my past life I can't quite place...

Wedding was lovely, and the support from friends and family made our hearts very happy.  

Everything went great, our time away, after, was exactly what we needed, and we were simply... content and happy with all of it.

until we got our wedding photos.... 

Won't go into detail here, but.... as it's not possible to gather everyone together, all dressed up, again... it's a good thing we have our memories.  

Oh, and my wife had never seen me get really good and upset before.    Everyone assumes, because I come across as pretty laid back most of the time, that... I'm pretty laid back.

and I am. 

until.

Was downtown last night, doing a bit of shopping.   We timed it so that, when we were done, we had to decide about dinner.   Do we stay or do we go?   if we stay there will be trouble... if we go there will be double...

uh... what?  oh.   Sorry.

So we made our way into Burdick's.    We were seated right away.   and...ignored. for a really long fucking time.    finally got a drinks order in, and 20 minutes later... we were putting on our coats.    Waitress strolled up with my beer, looked at us with our coats on, and said "Oh.  are you not staying?"   with a smirk.     She then told us that it was the host's fault, because SHE DIDN'T WANT US IN HER SECTION, and we were put there any way.

You really showed THEM.    twit.

on the way out the door, I stopped at the hostess desk.  "waitress just blamed y'all for the service she did NOT give us.".   

And the oh so busy waitress was RIGHT there next to me all the sudden, NOT to defend herself, but to DOUBLE DOWN on what she had said.    While I'm still standing there.

Until....

a couple of unpleasant  minutes later, we're out in the hall, while my wife puts her jacket on.   A nicely dressed older man walks by.  He had a worried look on his face.

Once layered, we're back outside, quietly fuming at the shear ridiculousness of what had just happened, when we notice a nicely dressed older WOMAN on the sidewalk, with a worried look on HER face.  

She looked, to be honest, like she was about to start crying.   We approach her.

She explained that her date had gone to get the car, but she hadn't seen him yet, and THOUGHT she was waiting for him in the right spot, and gosh, everyone's just so nice... 

My wife assured her that this was NOT the case, but... we were, at least.  and then we told her about the guy we had seen a moment before, and she was SO relieved.  

I stayed on the sidewalk with her, surreptitiously angling myself to block some of the wind and cold, while my wife ran back inside.  As I was not ready to go back into the restaurant, it was the best arrangement....  My new friend started to relax a bit, now that she had help.   we were having a nice chat, and I was trying to figure out the best way to offer her my coat, when my wife comes back outside with the gentleman in tow.   

After a brief round of "thank yous" and "no problems", we parted company with smiles.   As we were starting to walk away, I heard them start to discuss where they got their signals crossed. 

They did so in a respectful and sweet way.   

maybe that's why, at age 80+, they were still dressing up and going out on dates together. 

Way to keep an eye on the long game.

And.. Universe.  Nice job, there, making us feel like we were treated shabbily for a good reason.  

weird, but... nice job.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your proteins, but you shouldn't pick your friend's protein..... something like that.... whatever.

 

Sun's not up yet, kid's not sleeping in the next room, coffee's 2.75 hours old.

Let's drive it like it's someone else's rental.

Thought I'd mix it up a bit.   how'd I do?   

True story about the coffee,  tho'.   

Wedding's in a week, and we may or may not still be getting a kilt in the mail in time.  Besides that.... sound as a pound.   

Honestly - once you pick the spouse, everything else is gravy.

or should I say:  Everything else is the cooked fat and 'juice' from an animal, mixed with flour and starch?

"what the hell?"   you ask.     

read on.   duh.

We were at sup last night (no, this is not a trick to get you to ask "what's sup?"), when our very polite, slightly nervous waitperson asked my fiance to "pick your protein".

Damn.  I'm drooling now, just thinking about it.

hmmm.... I think i'll go with the dead pig today, steeped in the by product of burning wood, I think.   and Could I get a side of starch fried in fat, please?   Maybe some fiber with a little spiced vegetable based condiment on it?    What's that?  oh, yes.  Definitely cover it in dairy-based melted goodness.

Thank God it wasn't breakfast.   Don't even want to try to make up the conversation involving eggs.

Words are amazing things.  

Used with a modicum of effort, they can paint any kind of picture the user, the artist, wishes.   Make a couple good word choices and.... viola. 

Don't bother at all and....   that's what's brought us together, today.

And context.   Fuck.  Context is HUGE.

In this case, we were at a restaurant that already had one strike from a previous visit. 

And last night's "We've a new menu!"  turned out to be simply less of the old menu. 

 

"Well, maybe the waitstaff can recommend something......"

yep.   He recommended we "pick a protein".     Way to sell it, dude.

Was Soylent Green, a protein source?

"It's...PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!"

You'll be shocked to know that, when approaching food from that angle, you ended up getting a plate of food that tastes like what you'd get when you "pick a protein".

Could we get a vegetable-based recyclable containing unit please?  maybe my domesticated Canine Lupus Familiaris would like to ingest this.....