The Indiana Toll Road, for those of you who're not familiar with it, is a very handy, very boring stretch of interstate that you can access about 12 miles into IN from IL. If you drive east long enough, it turns into a very handy, even more boring OH turnpike, which eventually turns into the handy, slightly more interesting PA turnpike.
Noone ever makes it to PA however, as they've fallen asleep long before they even get to Cleveland, and by the time they wake up, they don't remember why they were on the road in the first place; where they're actually supposed to be going; or even their own middle names.
As is the case with a thousand other miles of interstate in IL, IN and OH, you look forward to spotting the occasional bird of prey to break up the monotony a bit.
I mention this because:
1. I can.
2. I had occasion to drive a goodly part of the IN toll road this past sunday.
My mom lives in a small town in MI, right by the toll road, and because of this, I've spent quite a few hours driving to and fro along this stretch of highway.
You get excited, after awhile, a bout the prospect of stopping at one of the plazas that appear along side the road, as if by magic, every 45 minutes or so. There's people, and noise, and a bathroom that's probably fairly clean, and coffee.....sweet, sweet coffee.
And apparently, if you time it just right, you can be witness to the oddest assortment of god's children, gathered together in one spot, ever.
As I entered the building, I noticed an amish woman and what appeared to be her three daughters, standing by the door, watching the parking lot. it didn't really register, as I hurried by on my way to the bathroom.
Where, to my surprise, the guy at the adjascent urinal engaged me in conversation.
I'm not keen on talking to complete strangers while going to the bathroom. Call me anti-social.
But hey, I'm in the middle of nowhere, IN (a redundancy, actually) and pretty bored...
Turns out he's a truck driver. Dedicated route, keeps fairly close to home, which is good, cuz he's in college.
Not the regular kind of college you might be thinking of. Nope. He's in divinity school, studying to be a minister.
He seemed like a nice guy, and I wished him well as I finished up and washed up, and got out of there before there would be any laying on of the hands.
Wandered back out into the central area, and saw... three guys dressed in traditional indian costume. Because....why not?
One of them was talking on a cell phone, and I heard a quick snatch of the conversation on the way by. Apparently, they were waiting for another group of indians to catch up with them.
I did a quick look around, and noted that there wasn't a cowboy in sight...
But I did notice the amish woman and her daughters.
"Hey" I thought to myself. "They don't drive. Buggies aren't allowed on the highway. What are they up to?"
Got a cup of coffee at the Starbuck's, which was blaring country music through it's soundsystem. I realized country music at a Starbucks wasn't even one of the three oddest things I'd experienced in the last 8 minutes, and moved on.
To the convenience store, where I grabbed a pack of gum, and got in line behind an older guy. He was probably in his early 60's, and he stepped up to the counter carrying a 1lb bag of beef jerkey. He and the woman working the register were obviously familiar with one another.
I stood there, gum in hand, while he told her all about how he was tired of driving a truck, and was ready for the end of the world to come. The lady at the register clucked in a vaguely supportive manner, and the old guy with crazy eyes ( I noted as he turned away from the counter and walked past me), shuffled out of the store, assumedly to go back to his semi to enjoy some jerky, while awaiting judgement day.
She looked at me, and we grinned conspiraorially at one another, two sane people in the company of the insane. I paid for my gum, she wished me a good day, and I walked out, past the indians, pst the amish women, away from this Fellini-esque version of the heartland, and to the relative safely of my own car.
"Wow" I said to my wife as I put the car into gear, and accelerated away from that place.
"Just...wow."
