Brothers and Sisters, our society makes less sense with every passing week, and this weighs heavily upon my furrowed brow.
can I get an Amen?
Not too long ago, at least not too long ago for those of us who are of a certain age, there were three women, my friends. Three women who possessed great talent. God had blessed them with the ability to play multiple musical instruments, write music, and sing like angels.
And the lord above brought these three women together, and their parts blended together to make a better whole, and they became famous, sold millions of records, sold out arenas world wide, and won prestigious musical awards and accolades. Testify!
Friends, they were so popular that radio executives and concert promoters and corporate sponsors from around the world happily would have stood in line to hold the three women's hair back, while they threw up. And it was good.
If you like that sort of music. I honestly don't know any of their songs, but that's not the point here....
Until one night, my friends, when on stage during a concert in a land far away, one of the three women told the crowd that, gasp! Horrors!!!! She was ashamed to be from the same state as the president of the United States. EGADS! Gadzooks!!!!
This, at a time in history where americans who traveled abroad would, when asked, regularly claim to be from Canada, because of how unpopular that president and our politics were, globally.
Oh, my brothers and sisters, punishment for such blasphemy was swift and terrible.
Overnight, their music was pulled from rotation at country stations around the country. People were encouraged to boycott their concerts. There were even, if memory serves, cd burnings. People were calling for them to leave 'Murica, if they hated it so much. Such a swift and total change in fortunes has rarely been witnessed, 'lo these many years.
And if that were not enough, my children, all of the sudden, it was decided that the woman who had uttered the blasphemous statement, was deemed to be... physically unattractive, and should be told about it.
They became punchlines for pundits, and were all that was wrong and unpatriotic about some people in this great country of ours, can I get an amen?
Fast forward to a few days ago. I'm punching pre-sets on my drive home, trying to find music.
Classic Rock station #1 had just started STRANGLEHOLD, by Ted Nugent.
It is, quite possibly, one of the longest and most repetitive songs in the history of rock and roll. It's a nice little jam for the first couple of minutes, and then it just repeats itself over and over and over and over... And the drum fills are uninspired at best, down right annoying at worst....
Anyhow, beyond thinking about it's mediocrity, and the fact that I was due to come across my daily Pink Floyd song (not cause for celebration in my car) on one of the stations at any moment, I didn't give it much more thought.
Until the very next day, when classic rock station # 2 played the same damn song, at roughly the same time. I can state with all honesty that I'd gone 20 years or longer without hearing this song, until this past thursday, and here it was, 2x in 24 hours.
To be honest, if it wasn't for the digital display on the radio, I wouldn't even have known it was the Nuge...
The Nuge......... a B list guitarist of mediocre musical fame, 20 years past his last hint of mainstream success, 30 years past the prime of his career, whatever that may have been....
The Nuge, who, not too long ago my friends, said in an interview or while on stage that he thought that the current president of the United States should "suck on my machine gun."
The Nuge, who had been so inflammatory in interviews, that he came under the scrutiny of the US Secret Service, shortly before the election of 2012, and was investigated as a possible threat to the well being of the president of the united states.
And oh, my brothers and sisters, punishment for such blasphemous and un-american behavior was swift and terrible, praise the lord!
He was not asked to appear on talk shows anymore.
The dozens and dozens of people that own his cd's got together and burned them, after washing their ears out with holy water.
The reaction from radio stations across the nation was so swift and so harsh that he took one of his machine guns and shot the radio out of the dash of his pick up truck.
And it was goo... what's that? It didn't happen like that at all?
He got more offers for talk radio than ever before?
Some cracker politician even went so far as to invite him to attend the State of the Union address as his personal guest?
Surely, brothers and sisters, thou are bullshitting me, right?
Can I get an amen?
Please?
Pretty please?
No "amen"on the whole "bullshitting me" thing?
Oh, dear.
He's touring with two other nostalgia acts this spring and summer, and the classic rock stations in Chicago are not only promoting the tour, and putting his two almost hits from 35 years ago back into heavier rotation, they appear to be putting him forward as the face and voice of that tour?
Heard Bobby Skafish announce it thusly (I paraphrase):
"Ted Nugent announced today that he'll be touring with REO and Styx again this year, and was quoted as saying 'Those guys deserve me'...
Why are they even mentioning his name on air, let alone playing his music and supporting his tours?
Jesus Willy Christ, he said the president should suck on a machine gun!!!! Surely that's worse than "I'm embarrassed to be from the same state...."
New rule, commercial radio stations across the country. If the secret service investigates someone for threats against the president of the United States, you should not be enabling his career.
And, my friends, you're telling me that many of the same folks who felt that "I'm embarrassed to be from the same state as our president" was un-American and wrong, and should be punishable by death, and all held hands as they got high off the fumes of burning compact discs, and screamed "if you don't love 'Murica, you can leave! Oh, and you're ugly"...
Are the same members of god's flock who are now saying "Yeah, terrible Ted! that's tellin' him!!!! USA USA!!!!" and can be found running out to Walmart to see if they have restocked the firearms department since their last visit?
Brothers and sisters, they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I fear we are a bit light on good intent at this point, and have started to pave it with ignorance and hypocrisy.
Go in peace, brothers and sisters. I need some quiet time to reflect on this. And perhaps enough brown liquor to get my hands to stop shaking.
