Covid bookends. You, too?

action....

"Covid caused my favorite coffee place to close down. And they've now reopened, but with reduced hours.
Which is too bad, because now that I'm working from home, because of covid…."

Hits self in head with palm of hand.
Again.

and...scene.

Covid bookend statement.

just another manifestation of our struggle to wrap our heads around our new, and ever-changing reality. same things mixed with same things but different, mixed with new things, and lack of old things... I got a throbbing pain behind my right eye, just typing that.

and honestly, at least for me, a display of not-great mix of privilege and laziness.
Hey, I KNOW I'm lucky to be working remotely. I've not lost sight of that.
and I've been lazy since birth.
about things I CAN be lazy about, at least.
LIKE GRINDING GODDAMN COFFEE AT 11 AT NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!
for example.


anyhow...


I could stop at a couple of great places at 6:30a on a weekday, five minutes from my house, on my way to work.

BEFORE.

and I'm signed into my computer at the same time, here in my living room, that I did when I commuted...
but I only have chain coffee options available to me now, to grab a cup when i'm too lazy to grind, before I sit down at my desk...
the struggle is, indeed, real...


Maybe you lamented the closing of golf courses, because now that you're schedule's gotten a little more.... flexible....
no? not one of you?
or massages, or pedicures, or 24 hour walmartapalooza, or your favorite bar....???
nothing??

Only me, hitting myself in the forehead with the palm of my hand? Sitting alone on the bench outside of cafeteria, with my peanut butter sammich?

this does not pass the sniff test.

Think about it for a moment. If you honestly, truly, can't come up with a real life example, think about what your covid bookend statement might be.

No. Really. Go ahead. We'll gather back here in.. five? good? excellent.
.
.
.
.
.

Excellent.
No, I don't need to hear them. I just wanted to see if I could get you to do it.

oh, you're looking for a point, more profundity? a little swerve at the end, an abrupt change in tone?

Nah, this one is isn't one of those. Except... I'm guessing I'm not really all alone on the bench.
we're all in this together, every imperfect one of us.

Going to bed now.
You don't have to go home, but you can't... stay... here...

walking... we're walking.... we're walking... and.....

Walking's been on my mind a bit, of late.

I've done quite a lot of it, the last five or so months.
Not unusual.
Last year, I began training harder, hiking more, around mid-march, in advance of a big hiking trip.

It brings me joy.
And blisters.

I hit a plateau a few weeks ago. a mental wall. and walking's suffered a bit from it.
So again... it's been on my mind.


The dawning of the era of Fitbit, has changed how we look at stuff like... hiking. walking in the woods.
walking 'round the neighborhood on a work break.....

"4.5 miles, 9 flights of stairs, 95 minutes of target cardio exercise... That's a good walk!"

Is it? I mean, it's a decent work out, but is it a good walk?

but like with so many things, numbers only tell part of the story.

What if you add context?

Maybe it was 4.5 miles of awkwardness, first walk with someone as you transition them from dating partner to friend?

Maybe it's from the night, back in the winter, when you couldn't get the ride service apps to work, standing in the group of strangers outside the bar, all staring at their phones and complaining.

or that afternoon when the rain arrived two hours earlier than forecasted, while you were 2 miles from the car?


Maybe it wasn't such a great walk, after all.


There was something kinda satisfying, 3 months ago, to walk for the sake of walking. For the simple sake of putting one foot in front of the other, over... and over... and over.

In the time of uncertainty, this simple act... one foot in front of the other, staying on the path..... helped.
And the fitbit… helped. helped to keep score. helped to make you feel like were accomplishing something good and healthy and simple and pure, when there wasn't a lot of that going on.


the 30 minute, 1.4 mile walks... not a great walk.

Except... it's around my neighborhood. you say hi to everyone else who's walking, and there are always a lot of walkers. You watch your neighborhood... bloom. turn green, flower up. you watch gardens get planted and thrive.
You see new messages of youthful hope and solidarity written in chalk on the sidewalk.

You're... part of it. Part of something larger than yourself.



So, to sum up, five months ago, it was all about simply putting one foot in front of the other, and not getting lost.
NOW... it's about being reminded that you're a part of something bigger than yourself.