So, I’ve been traveling a bit, on business. Not unusual for people to do this, but I’ve traveled more on business in the last 8 days, then I did in 5 years at my previous job.
And, should anyone from my work stumble across this, I want to state for the record that I AM grateful for the opportunity.
I’m a numbers guy, so, here are some numbers
In the last eight days, not counting the two days I was home between trips, I have:
Set foot in three states and two provinces. And set foot in two more, on one of the afternoons I was actually in town.
- Slept (very) poorly in one state and two different provinces
- Coincidentally, made hotel room coffee, tasted it, and then promptly discarded it, in one state and two different provinces
- Ate dinner in 2 states and two provinces. And ate well, thank you very much.
- Crossed the international border 4 times in 24 hours.
- Ate five hotel breakfasts. Complimentary breakfasts… not good as a rule. But probably won’t kill you.
- Missed three lunches altogether because of flight schedules
- Watched aprox. 6 hours of Canadian news on TV.
(I love Canadian news channels. They’re so much… quieter and calm than US news channels. And they assume you are relatively intelligent and knowledgeable. Crazy.)
- Attended 2.5 days of meetings (when you add ‘em all together); one plant tour; and got to drive a golf cart around a grain port located on the St. Lawrence River.
- Missed 3 nights of reading to my daughter, and two nights of walking my dog.
(I didn’t actually MISS the dogwalks…)
- Been to the gym exactly 0 times.
- Drank three different, very good beers, brewed in two different provinces, and Pennsylvania. (Yay, Yeungling!)
- Ridden in four hired cars, four taxi cabs and two rental cars.
- Made countless hours of polite conversation with folks I don’t know all that well.
So, those are the numbers, and I’ve friends who travel for business a lot, and they would not be impressed with these numbers. But I am. And I’m exhausted.
Let’s add the human element, the uniquely me voice to the numbers, in attempt to flesh out the tale a bit.
As you drive east out of Ogdensburg, NY, just past the Lowes, you see a road sign. It lets you know that you can turn left, to enter Canada, or go straight, to go to… a psychiatric hospital.
I’m not making this up.
We, logically, turned left.
At the Canadian Customs booth, the agent asked us why we were crossing into Canada today.
“Duh, because we didn’t want to go to the psych hospital. I think that would be obvious, officer Doo-Right!”
I didn’t actually say this to him. They don’t have much sense of humor, customs and border patrol agents. And honestly, I wouldn’t want them to.
Driving east on the 401, right after hotel breakfast #2, I saw, in the tall grass by the side of the highway, a donkey. I’ve seen deer before, fox, coyote, turkeys, woodchucks… this was my first donkey.
Coincidentally, there was a truck with a livestock trailer parked on the shoulder, and a number of harried looking individuals in the tall grass behind the donkey, and not gaining very fast.
I walked into the restaurant where we were all to meet for dinner the first night, and realized that I had eaten in this very restaurant, almost exactly seven years earlier, when in the 1000 Islands area on vacation. Pub food has given way to upscale Italian. By the end of that evening, the guy who was running the place was giving us all lessons on different ways to decoratively fold napkins.
1000 Island region – love it! Read my previous blog post for more about it.
Want fun? Have 9 Americans walk into a tiny, very expensive French restaurant in PQ, just over the river from Ottawa, ON, at the end of a long road trip, and have them decide to unwind, with many glasses of wine, beer, and apple cider martinis. If you’re lucky, you’ll have your back to the wall, and your face to the room, and you can watch snooty French people shoot little snooty French daggers out of their eyes at the backs of the increasingly loud people sitting across the table from you.
Hi, bon jour! We’re leaving your country tomorrow. Lighten up.” He says, followed up by an outrageous French accented laugh.
I walked around the nation’s capital after my conference ended today. Never been in DC before. My coworkers had the capital building and the white house all mixed together in their heads. They don’t tolerate dissenters much, and just about had ME convinced I was wrong, until I came across the map sign showing all the points of interest. Including of course the White House, which was blocks away from the “You are here” arrow in the map.
Check AND mate.
And now I’m home, unpacked, and eagerly awaiting the return of my wife and daughter from some pre-school function. My dog gave me 60 seconds of unbridled excitement upon seeing me, then quickly went back to eating her food, and laying on my couch.
My daughter will walk in the door soon, get really, touchingly excited to see me, and then start searching for the white plastic bag that signifies that daddy brought her home a “surprise.” Soon after, I will have the dog drag me around outside for a few blocks, come back, and fall into bed……
Cus it’s a work day tomorrow, and a boy needs his sleep.
