You can pick your friends, and you can pick your proteins, but you shouldn't pick your friend's protein..... something like that.... whatever.

 

Sun's not up yet, kid's not sleeping in the next room, coffee's 2.75 hours old.

Let's drive it like it's someone else's rental.

Thought I'd mix it up a bit.   how'd I do?   

True story about the coffee,  tho'.   

Wedding's in a week, and we may or may not still be getting a kilt in the mail in time.  Besides that.... sound as a pound.   

Honestly - once you pick the spouse, everything else is gravy.

or should I say:  Everything else is the cooked fat and 'juice' from an animal, mixed with flour and starch?

"what the hell?"   you ask.     

read on.   duh.

We were at sup last night (no, this is not a trick to get you to ask "what's sup?"), when our very polite, slightly nervous waitperson asked my fiance to "pick your protein".

Damn.  I'm drooling now, just thinking about it.

hmmm.... I think i'll go with the dead pig today, steeped in the by product of burning wood, I think.   and Could I get a side of starch fried in fat, please?   Maybe some fiber with a little spiced vegetable based condiment on it?    What's that?  oh, yes.  Definitely cover it in dairy-based melted goodness.

Thank God it wasn't breakfast.   Don't even want to try to make up the conversation involving eggs.

Words are amazing things.  

Used with a modicum of effort, they can paint any kind of picture the user, the artist, wishes.   Make a couple good word choices and.... viola. 

Don't bother at all and....   that's what's brought us together, today.

And context.   Fuck.  Context is HUGE.

In this case, we were at a restaurant that already had one strike from a previous visit. 

And last night's "We've a new menu!"  turned out to be simply less of the old menu. 

 

"Well, maybe the waitstaff can recommend something......"

yep.   He recommended we "pick a protein".     Way to sell it, dude.

Was Soylent Green, a protein source?

"It's...PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!"

You'll be shocked to know that, when approaching food from that angle, you ended up getting a plate of food that tastes like what you'd get when you "pick a protein".

Could we get a vegetable-based recyclable containing unit please?  maybe my domesticated Canine Lupus Familiaris would like to ingest this.....

  

Poisoning my dog on purpose, and the delight of exhausting inactivity. Oh, and my kid keeps growing up....

Kid's still asleep, I've a full cup of rather odd tasting coffee, the dog's made the grueling trek from bed to chair next to me... 

let's drive it like it's stolen.

Good morning, fellow travelers. 

So, I poisoned my dog, earlier this week. 

On purpose.

She was insolent…..

Nah.  That’s the scientific way to kill heart worms.

See you poison the dog juuuuust enough to kill the worms, whilst hoping NOT to kill the dog.

Hope.   It’s the thing w/ wings.

Like... "I HOPE they've done this on a LOT of other dogs, before Maggers..."

So she walks under her own power to the car, looks at the back seat, and basically collapses.  

    (See, this is why I didn’t rescue the 120#  bull dog with the amazing face, right out of a tom and             jerry cartoon.  I can do curls with my dog.  one armed.   As far as you know.)

Got all 30# of her in the car, and then drove 50 minutes home, my hand reaching back to steady her when I’d stop or turn.  

Too weak to get in the car, barely able to walk… no problem wobbling into my room and leaping onto the bed, once we got home, and didn’t move for almost 16 hours.

Which is only slightly longer than any other day…..

Inactivity can, apparently, be exhausting.  

_________________________________________________

Yeah, you savvy consumers just picked up on my segue.   Great job!  

You’re doing great!

 

I’ve had a week of exhausting inactivity.  

And considering all the plates that are spinning, this was quite a feat.

No movement on either house; no promised call backs from hunters of head…

All kinds of big stuff, not moved a single iota forward. 

Shit’s exhausting.

Finally told folks to stop calling and asking about all of it.   “Hey, if anything happens, I promise it won’t be a secret…..”

 ___________________________

Had to vacate for awhile again the other night, whilst strangers roamed free in my home.    Went out to the country estate, where my fiance and her mom were pinning my daughter’s dress for the wedding.

There she was, all long and lanky; with a goofy grin on her face as she’s trying on, and starting to walk, in sparkly heels.     

Hard to walk that tight rope between girl and young woman, in sparkly heels, I reckon.   

But she nailed it.

I, of course, was support. 

Physical support in this case. Someone she could hold onto whilst balancing in a long dress and heels on a step ladder.  

I know my role.  

And hopefully she knows she can always hold on, when she needs to keep / regain her balance. 

_______________

Weird week, which lasted at least a week and a half, ended in a backhandedly cool way.

See, we're way understaffed at work.   And as we're global, and NOT based here, getting new head count approved generally takes... 3 or 4 years.      maybe.   

Finally, FINALLY, after 9 years and 6 months, HR approved the head count, and 6 months later, they had finished writing out the job description.

And... noone wanted it.

Noone was willing to do the job for the money offered.   

So in a stunning example of speed and efficiency, they did a quick industry study, and realized they were not paying enough.

And to make THAT adjustment, they had to adjust the existing team's salaries'.      

(That would be me and one other person.)

"Happy friday, here's a small, unexpected raise, cuz we've been cheap. "  

Cool!

and kind of hilarious in a backhanded, head shaking kinda way.   but who can't use an extra few bucks?

Years ago, I wrote of a very bad day.  EX's.... questionable parking choices ended up with all of us, including the baby, under the city of Chicago at the impound yard one cold, wet weekday night, paying a few hundred to get the car back.  I left the house at the normal time that morning. did NOT get home until almost bedtime.  it was a ridiculously long and expensive day, full of tension and unpleasantness.

Finally, a block or two from home, we stopped at Chipotle for dinner.    When it came time to pay, it turned out my burrito's wrapper had a star on it, so it was free.

"Today's your lucky day!!"

like that.