american flag bandanas, phone calls from Antigua, and not knowing what day it is.

You know, it’s not the fact that the duck dynasty goofs were honored guests of a Lousiana politician at the SOTU last night.  

Or the fact that Lindsey Graham went on national television afterwards, as one of…six or so (what the hell?)  republican responses to SOTU speech; and stated that “ The world is ‘literally’ exploding” because of Syria, and why didn’t the president discuss THIS?

 (Can’t believe he didn’t just scream “Benghazi!” into the camera, and shake his wee little cracker fist.)

                  Sidebar – I’ve met Mr. Graham.  He’s a charming nearly-sixty-year-old southern                                               republican, and career politician.  Take that however you want.

It’s not the fact that it was noteworthy when I woke up this morning, because there was no negative sign next to the number (“1” if you must know) when I checked the temperature.

Heck, temp doesn’t matter anymore.  The world is LITERALLY exploding!  

Very, very slowly, apparently.  I’ve not even felt a tremble.

It’s not even the fact that I received some bullshit phone call from an Antigua exchange at 11:40 last night, and that I smacked my alarm clock several times before I realized that it was not the culprit.  

Because, let’s be honest.  

One’s alarm clock is always deserving of a few slaps….

What really pisses me off is that it’s Wednesday.    And it feels like it should be much later in the week.

To rub salt in my own wound, I didn’t even work on Monday.  

So, day two of my work week, and I was so sure it was at least Thursday when I woke up this morning.

To sum up:

1.      Graham sounded kinda dumb, mis-using words like “literally”.   (Unless he knows something       the rest of us don’t.  if that’s the case – it’s been a pleasure, everyone.)

2.      The state of the union address has become a red-carpet event with low tier cracker                       celebrities being invited by politicians.  Celebrities that can’t even be bothered to dress               accordingly. At least it was an American flag bandana, as opposed to, say… a confederate       flag bandana. 

3.      My phone is NOT my clock.

4.      This is going to be a very, very long week.

'Oh. Well. Carry on then."

The man woke up to the sound of the coffee maker this morning, like he had done countless mornings before...

"Already?" he thought, as he tried to bring himself all the way awake.

In that, he failed, until the sound of the coffee maker got his attention again.
It sounded....wrong.

The man has a long, sordid history with coffee makers.  Much like how one can be unlucky in love, he has been unlucky in small household appliances.
But, similarly,  as one should not simply give up and turn their back on the chance of finding happiness; he always looked forward.
"This new coffee maker is gonna be THE ONE. It won't leak, it won't refuse to start, it won't stain my countertops.  THIS ONE... is special."

Anyhow, he came all the way awake (he thought) when he realized that the coffee maker didn't sound like it was functioning properly.   He heard the bubbling noise, but didn't hear the coffee hitting the bottom of the pot.
No sizzle as the heating element warmed up and burnt off the few drops of water that always congregated there.  
Maybe it's because he was lying on his good ear and wasn't hearing it properly...nope.  Something was definitely amiss.
And as "something amiss" and "coffeemaker" usually equalled "Huge ass mess", he sprung out of bed, padding across the cold floors in the dark toward the kitchen.

Where he realized it was only 12:15am.
And where his dog was finishing up a long, loud, drink of water.
"Oh.  Well.  Carry on then."

shit.

The man mentally shook his head at the sheer silliness of the situation, and stumbled back to bed.

Five hours later, the coffeemaker started as scheduled, and worked as promised.

"Why'd you get up to check on Lucy?"  his wife asked a short time later.
"Were you afraid she was out of water?"

Well, not exactly.....