winter farmer's market, and if the poo shitz.....

 Good morning, sports fans.  

Coffee is good, the air is cold, and I've got nothing but time.  

(untrue.  I've other stuff, as well)

Let's, shall we?

It's 7:15 am, the dog has moved to her day location, and is resting from the journey.

Murder-kitty is in ambush position#3, just inside my bedroom door.

I'd say the morning's coming along nicely.

Later (I have to spread the fun out, so I don't explode), I'll swing by my elementary school gym, this year's location of the city's winter farmer's market.      

know what's really NOT the focus of winter farmer's market?   

farmers.

produce.    

Nary a farmer to be seen.   But the bakeries and coffee roasters and fresh meat and cheese people will be there.    probably buy a knit hat if I wanted.....

and there's always honey.     

Cuz it's a farmer's market law, I believe.  

without it, you can't include the word "farmer" in the title.  

I don't know that this is true, but people are talking...

Summer market, you plan your saturday morning 'round it.   hell, that's just to find parking...

Winter....  "I'm double parked, even though the lot's basically empty.  we can be in and out in 5.  shall we leave it running?"

looks around at the neighborhood where he went to elementary school.

"nope.  we shouldn't.   Lock it up...."

Hmmm.... Not bad, for sitting down in front of my laptop without a plan. 

probably gonna blow it, next up.

Quick.  words that don't belong together.   And... go.

Designer + dog.

interesting choice.   I was gonna go with "Stafford" and "Super Bowl", but we'll use yours.

"I want a dog, but I don't want any dog that ALREADY EXISTS ON THIS PLANET.  INVENT NEW ONES!  GET BUSY!!!!"    (followed by petulant foot stomping)

great look, folks.    Great look.  

I've a couple of draft essays in the can.   I couldn't finish them.  

lost steam, topics I thought would carry me thru didn't.. 

whatever.     

Above swerve to designer dogs is an attempt to use some of what's in the can.  A kernel of an idea not strong enough to blossom into any kind of serious word count....

it's a result of getting hit by a # of references to how we MUST always have bigger and newer and shinier, even though....  we really don't have to.  

(do these shoes match my dog?   Will I need a different dog for after Labor day?)

And to a lesser extent, the divide and disconnect between us as a people.

The "close puppy mills" / "adopt /rescue" crowd, vs. the "If you cross a shitzu and a pekinese and a miniature poodle, will it make a decent fashion accessory?" crowd.

most of us are in the middle, there, somewhere, or not part of the equation at all.    

Like with most divides and disconnects between us as a people....

 

 

  

Curbside Christmas / Excessive Idleness / birthdays on the fly. I hope you like it, at least.

 

Good morning, and happy new year.

It's a brand new year, I've most of a cup of microwaved coffee and a couple of not-quite-stale christmas cookies. 

let's get weird.       

In signing in to write this, this morning, I discovered that someone celebrated the winter solstice, by reading... my blog.  Like... a whole lot of it.

Every so often, this happens.  I sign in after not writing anything for a bit, and... there are 75 hits on one random day; I can see exactly which posts were read, how many times, etc. 

Each time, I wonder who it was, and what compelled them to keep reading, and each time... I never know the answer, obvs.

Hope they liked it, at least. 

It's a brand new year, and I've a herd of deer walking down my unplowed street, and a flock of cardinals duking it out at my bird feeders, which have seen NO action, for the last week.

hope they like it, at least.

Today was supposed to be my family's annual christmas gathering.    Seemed like, as we got closer this year, the dithering and dire weather predictions and such started a bit earlier than normal.

Almost like something, something huge, has caused the non-delusional among us, to exercise more caution than we used to do.

maybe.   

The winter weather threat that cancelled this year... a bit of a popcorn fart.  Lots of build up... and then all fizzle and no sizzle.   

the three or so inches of snow on the ground are pretty, if not particularly unsafe.   it's not quite a picture postcard, but....

Hope everyone likes it, at least.

Anyhow, due to predicted weather, and what ended up being a need for some to quarantine.....family christmas was 15 minutes long, two days ago.  

My sis dropped stuff off and picked stuff up, and later in the day, I stopped by my mom's for 60 seconds to pick up the stuff that was left, there, by others.

And when I called her first to make sure it was ok to come by, I was told "As long as you're NOT planning to stay and talk."      alrighty, then.

Not very festive, but everyone should end up with the correct presents, eventually..

Hope they like them, at least.

Today is last day of my paid christmas break.    I mean, of course I signed in and had to do a bit of work most days, compared to 90% of other salaried folk, cuz... ships and trains don't stop, just because you're on shut down....

But it was nice, and I've never lost sight of the fact that it's a sweet gift I get from my employer, every year.

Even if I did virtually nothing outside of chores and moving some stuff from the country house, all week.     

"Idle" is not my thing.   But "I don't know what to do with myself" IS my thing.

You can imagine how well this has gone at times, lo' these 54 years.

If nothing else, it means that when my wife tells me to "not worry about the house" because she'll take care of it when she gets home from work......   I will OF COURSE worry about the damn house.

At least a little.

Birthday was on the fly this year, which is fine. 

Nice card and fresh coffee waiting for me when I woke up, presents from family already opened due to the 15-minute family christmas; a couple presents to unwrap at some spur of moment time later in day when my wife got home; celebratory texts and calls at random moments throughout the morning.....   good enough.   

In part because it de-emphasized the fact that it was my birthday.   

I realized, awhile ago, I don't actually like birthdays.  Mine.  

Other people's are fine, and I hope they like them, at least. 

I don't care that I'm getting older; I stopped worrying that I wasn't "far enough along" in my life, decades ago; and I'm not of a weird religion (redundant?) that doesn't acknowledge them.

It's just that once I stopped expecting the actual to somehow meet my expectations, when I couldn't even clearly state my expectations.... life got easier 

Growing up, it was always shoe-horned in around Work and travel schedules.  So be it, it was all I knew, so....  And There were years when I'd hear about how tight money was for christmas, knowing of course my birthday was five days after.....     

I am not bitching, as a middle-aged-grown-ass-man.  One has no business bitching, really, after you've decades to sort it out for yourself.   

At whom does one bitch, at this point?     

(Man stands in yard, shaking fist at clouds.   Not a good look.)

I know the best that could be done, was done, and I appreciate it for what it was. 

But now, NOT trying to force it to be more: NOT being told " don't wash that dish, it's your birthday!" for example, while my birthday's absolutely NOT an all-day thing in any other way....   NICE.

   

And a casual dinner / beers with friends to end it..,. was perfect.  

 I hope I liked it, at least.

I checked just now, and... I did.

 

 

   

Tasty bathroom water and old habits. You know you're already intrigued.

 

Alright. 

So - a few weeks back, we put a water bowl in the bedroom.

Why?

So the damn dog wouldn't whine to go out at 3a, only to run to the bathroom, drink from the toilet, belch contentedly, and run back into the bedroom and onto the bed.

hypothetically speaking, of course.

Anyhow, the small bowl of water in the bedroom is now the preferred source of hydration for both the idiot dog, and the psycho kitty.   

I guess the water that comes out of the bathroom tap is just tastier than what comes from the kitchen.

today, twice now, she's gone to town on her food, stopping to walk across the house to get water.

Why, yes.  Yes there IS a full bowl of water right next to her food bowl.

it's been full for a long time now....

At least she only thinks I'm going to abuse her, about 19% of the time, now.     almost four months in, I'm guessing this is where it will stay.

Until unless I start abusing her...

The psycho kitty?  she'll sit in front of it for extended periods, just to remind the dog who's boss.

Tonite, just a few moments ago, I saw my chance.

My kid was in the shower, and the dog was outside.... 

I filled the bowl with kitchen water.

 " Today we're at world famous blah blah blah in New Orleans, and we've switched   their normal coffee with folgers instant crystals.   let's see what happens, with hidden camera...."

I didn't know it, as a child when this ad ran.   But as an adult, I can, with confidence, call bullshit.   Unless, perhaps, this world famous eatery in New Orleans, served shitty coffee to begin with.   

Like... one of those terrible coffee vending machines in the kitchen, with a pile of quarters, only instead of quarters, it takes tiny pieces of the souls of those who ingest it.......

- level shitty.  

Fuck.  Dog just barked, and the water bowl sailed over the gate into the hallway.

Oh, c'mon.  Dog's a moron, remember?   A sweet, reasonably well behaved one, but.... 

So, there's a story.  happened a few weeks ago, whilst fall was still beautifully fall-y.

It's about growing up, realizing your perspective has changed, and a weird dude by the side of the road.

wanna?

The woman I married, lived on the street a couple back from my own.

but 12 miles further west.    We call it the country estate.   And then laugh.

I was blessed with this drive, especially in spring and fall. you hit the county line and it's nothing but dirt roads and trees.   

In the winter... you use the highway a mile further south. I mean, no reason to be an idiot....

I was contemplating this on a particularly fall-y evening drive back to the city place,  and how right it felt that this splendor would be our guide, on endless trips back and forth, when I saw him.

Dude, standing behind his pick up truck, on the opposite side of the road.  

Road's narrow and... barely a road in places, so you go slow...

He was getting out his... guitar.    And as I drove on, I saw him the rear view, strumming and singing to... the creek that was there, perhaps.   or maybe just accompanying it's music.

"Wanke..." I started.    But I stopped.

See, old stuff, old...ways, can still come on automatically.  

Always without thought. 

duh. 

"automatic".  

.My younger, angrier, unhappier self, would have found it necessary to judge the  wanker guy.  And I would have had help, or at least a cheering section, more oft than not.

Old habits.   Of no value.   

There I was, dodging potholes, realizing he was not, indeed, a wanker.   

(as far as I knew, at least)

He was just a guy who fed his soul

sitting on his tailgate and playing the guitar

next to a stream.

as the sun slowly set.    

Who unknowingly reminded me that I'm no longer young, angry, nor unhappy like I was, in my youth, and wasn't it all exhausting, for no good reason?

And am no one to judge another's eccentricities.

So there you go.  

Now off you pop to bed.

Weddings, bad behaviour, and what happens when the universe gets involved.

 

sunday morning.
coffee...various animals.... the Mrs..... 

Let's.   Shall we?

Pretty sure I wasn't married, the last time I wrote here.     So that's kind of a thing.

Easy button made permanent.   how cool is that?

As we sit, companionably, in our VERY crowded little house (was supposed to be a MUCH bigger house, but... things happen.).

Dog's asleep next to me.   Cat was laying on the back of couch until a moment ago, right next to my head.      

WAS.  

until my mere presence was enough to make her lash out, without warning.

Felt vaguely familiar, like moments from my past life I can't quite place...

Wedding was lovely, and the support from friends and family made our hearts very happy.  

Everything went great, our time away, after, was exactly what we needed, and we were simply... content and happy with all of it.

until we got our wedding photos.... 

Won't go into detail here, but.... as it's not possible to gather everyone together, all dressed up, again... it's a good thing we have our memories.  

Oh, and my wife had never seen me get really good and upset before.    Everyone assumes, because I come across as pretty laid back most of the time, that... I'm pretty laid back.

and I am. 

until.

Was downtown last night, doing a bit of shopping.   We timed it so that, when we were done, we had to decide about dinner.   Do we stay or do we go?   if we stay there will be trouble... if we go there will be double...

uh... what?  oh.   Sorry.

So we made our way into Burdick's.    We were seated right away.   and...ignored. for a really long fucking time.    finally got a drinks order in, and 20 minutes later... we were putting on our coats.    Waitress strolled up with my beer, looked at us with our coats on, and said "Oh.  are you not staying?"   with a smirk.     She then told us that it was the host's fault, because SHE DIDN'T WANT US IN HER SECTION, and we were put there any way.

You really showed THEM.    twit.

on the way out the door, I stopped at the hostess desk.  "waitress just blamed y'all for the service she did NOT give us.".   

And the oh so busy waitress was RIGHT there next to me all the sudden, NOT to defend herself, but to DOUBLE DOWN on what she had said.    While I'm still standing there.

Until....

a couple of unpleasant  minutes later, we're out in the hall, while my wife puts her jacket on.   A nicely dressed older man walks by.  He had a worried look on his face.

Once layered, we're back outside, quietly fuming at the shear ridiculousness of what had just happened, when we notice a nicely dressed older WOMAN on the sidewalk, with a worried look on HER face.  

She looked, to be honest, like she was about to start crying.   We approach her.

She explained that her date had gone to get the car, but she hadn't seen him yet, and THOUGHT she was waiting for him in the right spot, and gosh, everyone's just so nice... 

My wife assured her that this was NOT the case, but... we were, at least.  and then we told her about the guy we had seen a moment before, and she was SO relieved.  

I stayed on the sidewalk with her, surreptitiously angling myself to block some of the wind and cold, while my wife ran back inside.  As I was not ready to go back into the restaurant, it was the best arrangement....  My new friend started to relax a bit, now that she had help.   we were having a nice chat, and I was trying to figure out the best way to offer her my coat, when my wife comes back outside with the gentleman in tow.   

After a brief round of "thank yous" and "no problems", we parted company with smiles.   As we were starting to walk away, I heard them start to discuss where they got their signals crossed. 

They did so in a respectful and sweet way.   

maybe that's why, at age 80+, they were still dressing up and going out on dates together. 

Way to keep an eye on the long game.

And.. Universe.  Nice job, there, making us feel like we were treated shabbily for a good reason.  

weird, but... nice job.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your proteins, but you shouldn't pick your friend's protein..... something like that.... whatever.

 

Sun's not up yet, kid's not sleeping in the next room, coffee's 2.75 hours old.

Let's drive it like it's someone else's rental.

Thought I'd mix it up a bit.   how'd I do?   

True story about the coffee,  tho'.   

Wedding's in a week, and we may or may not still be getting a kilt in the mail in time.  Besides that.... sound as a pound.   

Honestly - once you pick the spouse, everything else is gravy.

or should I say:  Everything else is the cooked fat and 'juice' from an animal, mixed with flour and starch?

"what the hell?"   you ask.     

read on.   duh.

We were at sup last night (no, this is not a trick to get you to ask "what's sup?"), when our very polite, slightly nervous waitperson asked my fiance to "pick your protein".

Damn.  I'm drooling now, just thinking about it.

hmmm.... I think i'll go with the dead pig today, steeped in the by product of burning wood, I think.   and Could I get a side of starch fried in fat, please?   Maybe some fiber with a little spiced vegetable based condiment on it?    What's that?  oh, yes.  Definitely cover it in dairy-based melted goodness.

Thank God it wasn't breakfast.   Don't even want to try to make up the conversation involving eggs.

Words are amazing things.  

Used with a modicum of effort, they can paint any kind of picture the user, the artist, wishes.   Make a couple good word choices and.... viola. 

Don't bother at all and....   that's what's brought us together, today.

And context.   Fuck.  Context is HUGE.

In this case, we were at a restaurant that already had one strike from a previous visit. 

And last night's "We've a new menu!"  turned out to be simply less of the old menu. 

 

"Well, maybe the waitstaff can recommend something......"

yep.   He recommended we "pick a protein".     Way to sell it, dude.

Was Soylent Green, a protein source?

"It's...PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!"

You'll be shocked to know that, when approaching food from that angle, you ended up getting a plate of food that tastes like what you'd get when you "pick a protein".

Could we get a vegetable-based recyclable containing unit please?  maybe my domesticated Canine Lupus Familiaris would like to ingest this.....

  

Poisoning my dog on purpose, and the delight of exhausting inactivity. Oh, and my kid keeps growing up....

Kid's still asleep, I've a full cup of rather odd tasting coffee, the dog's made the grueling trek from bed to chair next to me... 

let's drive it like it's stolen.

Good morning, fellow travelers. 

So, I poisoned my dog, earlier this week. 

On purpose.

She was insolent…..

Nah.  That’s the scientific way to kill heart worms.

See you poison the dog juuuuust enough to kill the worms, whilst hoping NOT to kill the dog.

Hope.   It’s the thing w/ wings.

Like... "I HOPE they've done this on a LOT of other dogs, before Maggers..."

So she walks under her own power to the car, looks at the back seat, and basically collapses.  

    (See, this is why I didn’t rescue the 120#  bull dog with the amazing face, right out of a tom and             jerry cartoon.  I can do curls with my dog.  one armed.   As far as you know.)

Got all 30# of her in the car, and then drove 50 minutes home, my hand reaching back to steady her when I’d stop or turn.  

Too weak to get in the car, barely able to walk… no problem wobbling into my room and leaping onto the bed, once we got home, and didn’t move for almost 16 hours.

Which is only slightly longer than any other day…..

Inactivity can, apparently, be exhausting.  

_________________________________________________

Yeah, you savvy consumers just picked up on my segue.   Great job!  

You’re doing great!

 

I’ve had a week of exhausting inactivity.  

And considering all the plates that are spinning, this was quite a feat.

No movement on either house; no promised call backs from hunters of head…

All kinds of big stuff, not moved a single iota forward. 

Shit’s exhausting.

Finally told folks to stop calling and asking about all of it.   “Hey, if anything happens, I promise it won’t be a secret…..”

 ___________________________

Had to vacate for awhile again the other night, whilst strangers roamed free in my home.    Went out to the country estate, where my fiance and her mom were pinning my daughter’s dress for the wedding.

There she was, all long and lanky; with a goofy grin on her face as she’s trying on, and starting to walk, in sparkly heels.     

Hard to walk that tight rope between girl and young woman, in sparkly heels, I reckon.   

But she nailed it.

I, of course, was support. 

Physical support in this case. Someone she could hold onto whilst balancing in a long dress and heels on a step ladder.  

I know my role.  

And hopefully she knows she can always hold on, when she needs to keep / regain her balance. 

_______________

Weird week, which lasted at least a week and a half, ended in a backhandedly cool way.

See, we're way understaffed at work.   And as we're global, and NOT based here, getting new head count approved generally takes... 3 or 4 years.      maybe.   

Finally, FINALLY, after 9 years and 6 months, HR approved the head count, and 6 months later, they had finished writing out the job description.

And... noone wanted it.

Noone was willing to do the job for the money offered.   

So in a stunning example of speed and efficiency, they did a quick industry study, and realized they were not paying enough.

And to make THAT adjustment, they had to adjust the existing team's salaries'.      

(That would be me and one other person.)

"Happy friday, here's a small, unexpected raise, cuz we've been cheap. "  

Cool!

and kind of hilarious in a backhanded, head shaking kinda way.   but who can't use an extra few bucks?

Years ago, I wrote of a very bad day.  EX's.... questionable parking choices ended up with all of us, including the baby, under the city of Chicago at the impound yard one cold, wet weekday night, paying a few hundred to get the car back.  I left the house at the normal time that morning. did NOT get home until almost bedtime.  it was a ridiculously long and expensive day, full of tension and unpleasantness.

Finally, a block or two from home, we stopped at Chipotle for dinner.    When it came time to pay, it turned out my burrito's wrapper had a star on it, so it was free.

"Today's your lucky day!!"

like that.

Channeling John Cusack, spinning plates, and mandatory weekend ruination.

 For today's writing exercise, i shall be writing in the dark.    ready?

DDF0,N Dog trewolw.s.r

Tis a dumb exercise.  let's light a single candle, instead of cursing the darkness.

woke up to a sticky note on the coffee maker, letting me know it was ready to go.   I felt, for a moment, that I was living my best life.

meanwhile, the dog, the enigma, the special one.....  was VERY content on my bed. 

"But you need to pee."

I'll hold it forever.  

"come on."

absolutely not.

And I could have walked to the back door and held it open, in my boxer briefs, and whistled, but i know that this would have accomplished nothing.     Well, maybe goosebumps....

Now's the time to mention that, when looking at rescue dogs, I insisted it be small enough to carry without hurting myself. .

I had been responsible for the 80+ pounder, before.    

30lbs, as it turns out.... one armed.  like a sleeping baby, carried her through the house, and plunked her down outside.     

Easy or hard, Maggie.   

She always gets to pick.

she's still standing where I put her down, 10 minutes later, staring at the back door.   Engima....

So, the house is still on the market, the new house is not ready yet, and I had two phone interviews recently for a job I was not even aware existed.    

I love it when jobs hunt me, instead of the other way around. 

The recruiter's a good guy, seems to be good at his job, unlike so many that have randomly rang my phone over the years.   Pretty sure I've written about it.

Why... I have...

  What's on MY mind today?: Matchmaker matchmaker... thoughts on recruiters (patrickosplayhouse.blogspot.com)

And it was nice chatting with folks, when I've too much other stuff going on to be nervous.    

"Hey. S'up."

   

            "If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have gotten to me earlier." 

                            -John Cusack, HIGH FIDELITY

Any moment now, I should spring into action.    Maybe even bathe.   Is it an even day week or an odd day week?   I'll have to check the shower schedule....

meet family at a college football game, later, on what should be a perfect college football saturday.

Tomorrow....I have to be at work at 6:30 to help count... packaging?  maybe?   

i love it when i have to go in on a sunday.  I feel so respected.  like my own time is valuable.

Usually, it's on a sunday when I have my daughter.  Guess I'm getting off light this time....

The absolute best is when I show up as commanded, and noone knows why I'm there, I'm not on anyone's list, but just sit tight (for 6 bloody hours) and we'll find you something to do.....

speaking hypothetically of course.  that would NEVER happen.   

Twice in a row....     

unless it actually did...... hypothetically.

Well.  I smell, and I have to be at breakfast in a half hour.   probably should do something about that....

peace out, homeys.  May your weekend be happy and sunny and a time for recharging your body and soul.   

and may someone please buy my house.....