five christmas movies

Was watching Elf over the weekend.
Will Farrell, like Jim Carrey, is a limited exposure kind of actor for me.
He plays arrogant and dumb at the same time, very well.
But the joke gets old.

When he tries his hand at something different, like he did in Stranger Than Fiction and Elf, however, he impresses the crap outta me.

As it's that time of year, I'll try to come up with my $0.02 worth of five best holiday movies in the whole world, ever.
In no particular order.

Keep in mind I'm not a very sentimental guy, and my humour runs dark. Also keep in mind that when I refer to them as the best holiday movies in the whole world, ever, it's possible I'm less than 100% serious.


Long Kiss Goodnight - Geena Davis, Samuel Jackson.
A heartwarming tale of an amnesiac professional killer, living the life of suburban housewife until. She has no idea who she was before she work up on a beach, three months pregnant, many years earlier.
Until she hits a deer, driving a drunk home from her christmas party. She gradually regains her memory and job skills, just in time to save (WAY) upstate New York from a fake terrorist attack.
The attack is orchestrated by a government agency looking to increase how much money it gets from the fed government, in the coming fiscal year. In the 2nd or third (but final) thrilling climax of this movie ( too many endings, a'la Speed), she flies through the air on a string of christmas lights, and kills the father of her daughter, then is saved by a ridiculously battered Sam Jackson, and they drive away as the tanker explodes behind them....
Nothing says Merry Christmas like an over-the-top violent amnesiac assassin movie.

The Ref - Denis Leary, Kevin Spacey, Judy Davis.

A cat burglar botches a job, and hi-jacks a car driven by a fighting couple on their way home from marriage counseling. The town goes on lock-down because of the botched job, so he hides out at the warring couples' house until the heat dies down, pretending to be their marriage counselor, as their dysfunctional family arrives for christmas eve dinner.

Mean, mean, mean movie. Laughed my ass off the first time I watched it. Leary's great as Gus, a down and out kinda guy who is constantly surprised by the level of animosity and venom on display within the family he's holding hostage. Kevin Spacey does snide well, Judy Davis does pretentious artsy-type well, and the in-laws are so over-the-top obnoxious...
A little too warm and fuzzy at the end, but starts so far away from warm and fuzzy that you know it's gotta end on a cuddly note.

Gus: Do you know what this family needs? A mute.


Scrooged - Bill Murray.
Any version of this story, where Karol Kane and David Johansen are two of the ghosts - gold, baby. Pure gold. And the scene at the end, with the big speech, is riveting. And pre-ghost scrooge as a heartless TV exec was a refreshing update to the old old money lender scrooge. As was a black, female Cratchett character.

ELF - Will Farrell.
Damn, he was fun to watch in this movie. Great supporting cast as well. And Zooey Daschnel (Sp?) is dreamy. Scenes where he confronts a dept. store Santa ("You sit on a throne of lies!!!!"), where he comes in contact with a midget children's' book author ("he's an angry elf"), and where he finds out who his father is, and that he's on the "naughty list" are particular standouts in a movie with no real weak scenes. Farrell's a fearless actor, and this movie worked only because he took the role seriously.

Scrooge - Albert Finney stars in this musical version of A Christmas Carol, released in 1970.
I can honestly say I'd never seen or even heard of this version, until my wife introduced me to it not too long into our relationship. And I was none to excited about watching it the first time, given that
a) it was yet ANOTHER adaptation of an overly adapted book.
b) it was a musical.

I'm a guy. I don't really enjoy musicals all that much. Something about my characters breaking into spontaneous song and complex dance routines makes it difficult for me to suspend disbelief and let myself be caught up in a story.

But Albert Finney's performance as both a young and old Scrooge is amazing. You can see how he became a truly miserly and loathsome creature over time. And while some of the songs make the narrative drag, "I Like Life" and "Thank You Very Much" are great fun.
The scene in Hell is suitably unpleasant, and a bit...psychedelic in nature. Almost.
Hey, it WAS released in 1970. And The Ghost of Christmas Present is a guy I'd really like to party with, ESPECIALLY if he's bringing the wine.


So, there you go. I'll probably think of three better ones the moment i post this.

Next up - five best christmas themed cartoons. exciting, isn't it?