Helping your kids to feel safe, in troubled times........

(another article I originally wrote for stridepost.com.  I re-publish it here, with their friendly thumbs up.)

So, there’s been a lot going on in the world, of late, much of it worrisome. What was once unheard of, has become a regular occurrence.

Depending on how much exposure to the world’s affairs your kids have, you likely are finding yourselves having conversations with them that you never thought you’d have to have.

As parents, we want to make sure our kids feel loved, valued, and safe.

I had a long talk about this with my daughter, as I held her in my arms when she was just a couple of hours old.

Promises were made. 

So, nine years later, to the day… How to help your kids feel safe.

A very helpful article from PBS.org suggests several common sense ways to help with this, a couple of which really stood out for me.

• Turn off the media.  24 hour news channels love a good tragedy. It’s unhealthy for us, as adults, to watch too much coverage, it’s even more so for our kids.

• Don’t avoid answering questions, but don’t over do it on unnecessary details. It’s a good idea, when doing so, to ask them what they’ve heard, first.

Another article about keeping kids feeling safe in stressful times offers up a couple more useful pieces to the puzzle.

• Encourage your kids to express their fears and concerns. Be it by talking about them, drawing them or writing about them. Their increased understanding about themselves and what’s making them feel the way they feel, is valuable.

• Offer hope, and assure them you’re in it together.

Common threads throughout the above articles and others, like this one emphasize the reassuring nature of maintaining your routine; the value of a little extra attention and affection; and if your kids are old enough, talking with them about possible actions or activities in which they can take part, so they feel less powerless.

Most of the topics I’ve been asked to write about over the last year or so, share an important theme.

Your kids are watching you.   They learn from watching you. They take their queues from watching you.   When they’re worried, they’re not just listening to what you’re telling them, they’re watching you. Show them confidence and assurance. Your verbal reassurance will not carry weight if you don’t. This is, frequently, easier said than done, but…

Promises were made.